Turn Around or Die!

This is a vid of a lecture I delivered at a recent meeting of the Rivertown Toasters Toastmasters Club in Conway SC. Hope you enjoy it…

Go forward or go back but don’t stop!

Pick That Coffee Scene…

Here’s a random coffee-centric pic from a television show. Can you identify it? If not, no worries, the answer is below.

Alright. I know it was a hard one, as there were no identifiers whatsoever. It’s from The Jack Bauer Show24, season 2, episode 1, right before Jack goes all roadhouse on somebody.

I’ll Kick You Out of Church If I Have To

I attend an awesome church at Wellspring Church in Myrtle Beach SC. One of the great things about my church is that they’re completely on top of using multimedia and modern technology to reach people. Last Sunday they showed a “Welcome to my church” video that featured one of our members. It was really good and ,of course, the actress, a Ms Heather Ann is very pretty and professional. She an anchor at a local TV station after all.

The only downside of the video is that it needs a different perspective, so I thought I’d film my own. I serve as an Usher at my church, or as I like to think of it, The Church Bouncer.

This is a  ”Welcome to my church” video from the Usher-Bouncer’s point of view. I hope you enjoy it.

Making Roots with Caitlin Beidler in Haiti

Some of my longtime readers of the blog or my magazine column might remember a young lady I’ve mentioned quite a few times in the past. Caitlin Beidler is an impressive artist and temporal philanthropist (I’ll  explain later) that I’ve gotten to know very well over the years. I’d like to say that I hang out with her a lot, but the girl is out of the country so much it’s hard to catch up with her. I’m guessing here, but I’d say she’s in Haiti at least 3-4 times a year.

I’m writing about her again because I just received a support letter from her ministry Making Roots yesterday. I thought I’d bring her up again in the hopes that some of you might like to help support her work. I’ve helped her in the past by buying artwork, helping with funds for trips, and writing about her as often as I can. I can guarantee from experience that it’s a worthy endeavor. One of the coolest things about supporting her are the little tiny art and letters that she sends out. It’s like a Christmas present every time I see a lumpy envelope from her in the mail.

For a number of years Caitlin worked on her own, enlisting support and help as she could but funding most of her mission work through her own art sales at Redemption Art. She does amazing canvas-type work but her most spectacular works are murals and live painting. I’ve seen her paint masterpieces in front of crowds at huge events and she doesn’t appear the least bit nervous. She even paints wedding portaits during the actual ceremonies. Recently she and her sister started a formal ministry, which is where Making Roots comes in. The ministry runs through her home place of worship, 180 Degrees Church. This means that any donations you send her are now tax deductible. I think it’s awesome that her church supports her efforts. I’ve attended and come across a lot of churches that absolutely will not support their members in ways like this. Many of them practice closed-loop leadership and don’t seem very concerned or helpful when God moves in their lives. It’s sad but true. I commend her church for this.

Caitlin is getting ready for another year at Camp Hope, a project she works on every year. This is why she could use the support right now. I urge you to help out. Even if you don’t neccesarily want to give outright to the ministry, at least check out her art. Buy a few pieces and you’ll still be supporting the effort. I have at least half a dozen pieces spread out around my house with two large paintings in my living room. I also commissioned a piece for my parents as a gift one year. You can see plenty of her works and find the ministry website at the links spread throughout the blog. If you’d like to know more, contact her. Better yet, show up at one of her mural projects and she’ll let you help paint. She’s also very active on Facebook with pics of her projects in Haiti and Africa. 

Now as to the Temporal Philanthropist title…ask me later and I’ll explain further.

I Love Cartoon Coffee

I watched the animated movie Up with my kids. That’s one thing kids are really great for. If, as an adult, you feel self-conscious about watching animated films, just take your kids. You’re doing it for them. If you don’t have kids, just grab a niece or nephew.

The movie was great and very emotional from really sad to extremely funny. Just the right combination. For my coffee-centric leanings I noticed a couple of nice coffee items in the movie that I thought I’d bring to you.

Like most men of his generation Carl Fredricksen (voiced magnificently by Ed Asner) starts his day with the usual instant coffee swill. It may not be good coffee, but it’s still coffee, right?

I really loved this part. It’s one thing to show coffee in general use by a character. I mean, that’s life. It’s exceptionally fan-coffee-tastic to highlight coffee as a solo item. Here’s a pic from the credits.

Hope you enjoyed this. If you haven’t seen the movie, go get it now. It’s great!

Self Defense Laws of All 50 States (book review)

(originally published in South Carolina Woman, April 2010)

Self Defense Laws of All 50 States by Mitch and Evan Vilos

Now I realize that this is a women’s magazine, but I am a firm believer that knowledge of self-defense is a huge tool for empowerment and that women warriors are not to be trifled with. This month’s article is guest-written and comes to me from Marc Denny, a co-founder of the famous Dog Brothers martial arts organization. If you’ve never heard of the Dog Brothers, then you have to check them out at www.dogbrothers.com. For now though, read Denny’s review of a book that every personal-defense oriented person needs to own. The book can also be purchased from their bookstore. His article was first published in a newsletter from the Dog Brothers…

In the real world, our Rules of Engagement (ROE) and our environmental awareness usually are more important than our physical fighting skills. Some of us have clearly worked out our ROE already. This is good. Having a sense of what one is and is not willing to fight for is an essential ingredient of not getting started in matters for which one is not willing to fight.
He who has not really thought about it may find himself having to work things out on the fly while under duress- not good!!!
For example, someone barks and instinctively he barks back as a matter of self-respect and/or the respect of onlookers. Sometimes all is well- the situation subsides. But sometimes, the situation escalates and a terrible problem arises- in this moment he must determine whether to fight. If not, then he may fear installing a backdown from an adrenal escalation into his self-programming. He may fear that this is very bad for future response to adrenal dumps. He may fear looking or feeling like a coward.  As a result he may decide to fight- that is to say he agrees to fight for…for what? Certainly not for anything which he would have fought if he had already worked out his thinking!
For me, and your mileage may vary, a fundamental principle is “What you think of me is none of my business”. Of course there may be variations, but on the whole if someone barks at me it is very simple: according to the physical realities of the situation I can leave or respond with verbal judo/de-escalation techniques. If these fail, then I can be clear both to myself and to any witnesses that may be present that I sought to avoid the fight and now must act. This makes for an unencumbered mind and a superior level of action- and better testimony should it ever come to that.
My next rule of engagement is to “Avoid the Three Ss”.  That is to say, avoid Stupid people in Stupid places doing Stupid things.
Putting these three rules together (Environmental awareness; What you think of me is none of my business; and Avoid the Three Ss) will prevent most problems before they even get started.
Still, the flying fickle finger of fate can reach out and tap us with difficult situations.

Certainly environmental awareness includes being aware of what is going on in your physical awareness. Certainly you should have skills for “Managing Unknown Contacts.” But today I want to talk about a particular aspect of environmental awareness which is off most people’s radar screens- the legal jungle in which we find ourselves.
As my criminal law professor in law school said to me, “We don’t have a justice system. We have a legal system.” Be very clear that its rules and values may be very different from your sense of Natural Law!!!  You need to be very, very clear that witty heuristics to be found on Internet forums may have little or no basis in fact for where you may be when the excrement hits the fan.
Furthermore, worth noting is that few of us find ourselves in only one legal jurisdiction over time or even at the same time- within America think municipal, state, and federal all covering you in one place at one time and that as you move around you find yourself under the different laws of the various states. Indeed, we have fifty different sets of state law and there can be substantial differences amongst them.  THIS DIVERSITY IS A GOOD THING.  In the wisdom of our Founding Fathers (divinely inspired in my humble opinion) our federal system is a laboratory of freedom so that we can try different approaches and move away from ones that do not suit us to ones that do suit us.
REGARDLESS, BE CLEAR THAT THE LAW OF WHERE YOU ARE AT A GIVEN MOMENT ALSO NEEDS TO BE PART OF YOUR ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS.  If you are to walk as a warrior for all your days you should know how you are and aren’t you allowed to be armed; if you are required to retreat and if so, under what circumstances; what the rules are concerning the coming to the aid of another; when may you use deadly force; what is considered deadly force; what you can and can’t do to fleeing felons, what the criminal  consequences possible are for your actions, as well as other things.
Typically the reality of it is that we DO NOT really know the answers to these questions.  I know I don’t, at least not to my satisfaction! We may have read the heuristics of some seemingly knowing poster on a forum, but is that really going to give us a clear and systematic sense of what the law of the legal jungle in which we operate may be?  Not when the adrenaline is flowing! The district attorney is not going to care what we say we read on the internet, nor is our lawyer as we pay his fee or the judge and jury as they decide our fate.
So, what to do if we do want to be aware of our legal environment?
Funny you should ask
As some of you may know, a long, long time ago in a universe far, far away for one year (1982) I was an attorney in Washington DC where I did first year associate drone work for a law firm that had absolutely nothing to do with criminal law– so my formal connection with law in general and criminal law in particular, is essentially that of a  semi-educated layman.   Of course, the effects of that education and experience linger and given my current line of work it is only natural that I have been paying attention to these self-defense legal and criminal law issues along the way.
It is from that perspective that I say that I have found what I am going to use in my own life from here forward.  It is a book called Self Defense Laws of All 50 States by Attorney Mitch Vilos and Evan Vilos.
In my opinion, this book is simply outstanding.  As the attorney that I am (technically speaking I still am one, albeit “inactive status” for the last 29 years) I appreciate the thorough nature of the work that has gone into this book.  The citations of legal authority readily enable well targeted additional research, should, God forbid, such become necessary.  The quality of the citations also give me confidence in the quality and level of research that has gone into this book.
Although the statutes and citations are present, the deeper worth of the book can be found in the simple yet suitably nuanced examples that effectively communicate to real people wanting a practical sense of the laws and rules appreciate.  This is much more than “here’s the statute and a simple explanation that is so vague as to be useless”.
For example, in my home state of California simply reading the statute would give the impression that I was in 19th century Texas, but with commendable thoroughness the authors go beyond the statute itself to explain how the real standards applied to your behavior are to be found in the jury instructions. In other words, as part of doing the work they realized that California required something more and different for the reader to get a good sense of the true reality.
In all states various sample stories are given to illustrate the laws and questions presented; my sense of things is that without compromise in quality of analysis, the material is readily understood by real people.  I would add that in contrast to other articles and books I have seen wherein the author is rather prissy, these authors seem to me to be quite comfortable with the idea that some good people have guns and knives and that there are situations where that is a good thing.
After a few broad overview chapters, each chapter is dedicated to a particular state and answers the same matrix of questions.
Thus no matter the state, the matrix is the same. This is very valuable- our knowledge instead of being random, now becomes systematic! If I am going on a trip to a certain state, all I need to do is read that chapter and I will be informed as to the laws of the legal jungle in which I will be!  Furthermore simply reading the material is a good exercise in clarifying your own thinking and thinking about things that may not have otherwise occurred to you.
As you may have noticed, we do not clutter our catalog with lots of items. If something is there, it is there for a reason.  I was so impressed with this book that I called up author Mitch Vilos and told him about who we are and how we look to help people walk as warriors for all their days.  I am delighted to report that we now offer it in our catalog for $30.
I know $30 can seem like a lot of money for one book, but I would point out that this book is, in considerable measure, a labor of passion by two men who want you to know your rights and to avoid the abundant pitfalls faced by those of us who look to take responsibility for the defense of ourselves, our family, and the innocent.  As you can imagine, the work going into getting all 50 States in one coherent, well-organized, well-told book is considerable and the volume of sales is such that the price is what it is–which in my opinion is quite a bargain in terms of what is delivered.

Learn the law of where you live, work, study, and play.  Have it on your shelf for reference before you travel.  This too is part of walking as a warrior for all your days.

Identity Theft- Surviving the Nightmare (book review)

A book review of Identity Theft: Surviving The Nightmare by Mark A Priganc

I previously reviewed Mark Priganc’s first book Identity Theft-The Personal Guide. You might remember, he’s the scary guy who can tell you all about yourself from driver’s license number to favorite color with only a few digits of information. Priganc has a new book out, which acts as a companion guide to the first one. This one covers what to actually do once an identity theft disaster occurs in your life. His newest book on identity theft is not only informative and an easy read. It also goes into more depth on this crime than any book on identity theft I have seen.  It shows how this crime will eventually affect you, but doesn’t leave you out in the cold. It also provides tools to reduce your exposure. In Identity Theft: Surviving The Nightmare he covers the five most common areas of this crime, but also introduces a lesser known area that is gaining momentum, called Synthetic Identity Theft.  The resources revealed in this book are very useful and empowering for a victim of this crime.  Priganc has even included an extensive question and answer section that is made up of actual questions he has answered for clients.

One of Mark’s claims not only in this book but in person when he is educating people on identity theft is “I can destroy your world and never touch your money.” It got my attention, and, after reading this book, I can say I understand why he makes the statement.  After reading the information in this book, I understand how identity theft is far more than a crime of someone taking or using your credit cards and bank information, and it can literally destroy your life.

I recommend Identity Theft: Surviving The Nightmare as a must read for everyone who has an identity, which does include everyone.

Other good reads of the last month…

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. This was a loan from my cousin Chad Jesse, a chef over at the Crystallite Cafe. It’s a tragic but really funny memoir. It sounds weird but it really is sad and funny at the same time.

Packing for Mars by Mary Roach. I’ve never been so fascinated with space travel as I was after reading this book. I like sci-fi space travel with artificial gravity, laser guns, and Wookies. This book really broke everything down in a fun way and made a trip to Mars seem utterly fascinating.

Chocolatey Sleep Squares (Review)

                As a brief aside from my coffee-centric ventures I thought I would review an item near and dear to many coffee lover- chocolate. This spring I once again visited the Hotel, Motel & Restaurant Supply Show of the Southeast hosted annually right here in Myrtle Beach. I always enjoy browsing the booths and checking things out to see what’s new, what’s changed, and who has the best free samples. As The Coffee Scholar I always zero in on the coffee-related booths to see what’s going on. Unfortunately, it’s usually the same brown water that passes for institutional coffee in the majority of hotels and eateries. I like to zero in on the foodie booths as well for the tasty treats.

                One of the many booths that caught my attention was Sleep Squares. Well, I admit, it was the chocolate that caught my attention. Then, once it drew me in, I checked to see what it was actually about. Chocolatey Sleep Squares from Slumberland Snacks is a chocolate supplement that purports to be “the bedtime delight that helps you sleep through the night.” I didn’t actually try a sample myself but I asked for several boxes to use for a review.

                According to the website Sleep Squares are a sugar-free, non-habit forming supplement “developed to help you fall asleep fast, maintain sleep throughout the night, and wake up feeling rested and recharged without any grogginess or side effects.” The ingredients list reads like that of a standard multivitamin, so like many supplements, I imagine that it’s the particular concentration or mixture of the ingredients that causes the intended action. The website isn’t very clear about how it works, which I can understand to a degree because of proprietary information. Still it would be nice to see some kind of study or scientific information to back up the claims.

                I enlisted my good friend Shane Watson for a little experiment. Watson is a master’s degree student at Coastal Carolina University in the teaching program. He also assists one of the professors. He also works fulltime. He also works as a student teacher at a local high school. You get the idea? He’s a busy guy and when he gets the chance to sleep, he really needs it. He’s also someone who has trouble sleeping anyway, despite the added burden of the hectic non-stop schedule. The perfect guinea pig to try my Sleep Squares experiment.

                I asked Watson to keep a journal for two weeks. The first week would be his normal sleep habits and the second would be using the Sleep Squares. His normal habit is to use Unisom when he has trouble sleeping. The first week he proceeded as normal and used a sleep aid on four out of six nights. He slept a total of 50 hours the first week under normal conditions. Sleep journal comments ranged from “slept through night again, woke up generally mad at the world” to “good sleep, thought I woke up once at 0300.”

                The second week I asked him to use the Sleep Squares and see if there was any discernable difference. The recommended amount is one to two pieces per night. He started out with one piece early in the week and progressed to two pieces at the midpoint of the week. The first night’s comment was “Went with one for first day. Will do more if needed. Slept well, not groggy in morning.” He slept a total of 53 hours that week, not a huge difference but a slight one nonetheless. His last night’s comment was “Slept fine. Woke up feeling awake.”

                Although my experiment was not a controlled scientific endeavor I would say that it does reveal an indication that Sleep Squares work as well or better than a standard non-prescription sleep aid, or at least they did for Watson. With that said Sleep Squares also pose several advantages over pharmacological sleep aids. Natural ingredients versus chemicals and tasty chocolate versus a pill. In other words, it’s definitely worth a try if you either have trouble sleeping peacefully or would like to try an enhancement to sleep better. Or if you need an excuse to eat chocolate.

Entrepreneur Lessons from 50 Cent

I was in my dad’s construction office earlier helping with some insurance paperwork. While there I flipped on the telly to VH1 expecting to have some music videos on for background noise. That was a mistake. I’d forgotten that music television channels don’t play music anymore. It turned out to be a blessing in disguide though. There was a show on called Behind the Music that profiled the life of famous rapper 50 Cent. Here’s the link to the episode if you’d like to watch it. Most of the story was also told in the thinly disguised autobiographical movie Get Rich or Die Trying.

It was pretty interesting but really made an impact on me from the viewpoint of living out your calling and your passions in life. I certainly don’t approve of many of the things that 50 Cent has done, but his story is absolutely inspiring. Here’s what hit me hardest. I have a couple of friends who live by the mantra that you should do in life the thing that you would do for free if you had to. In other words, your passion and your calling should be so important to you that even if people didn’t pay you, you’d still be doing it as a volunteer or as a ministry.

50 Cent took it nine steps further than that. Instead of living what he would do for free, he decided that he would live a passionate life that he was willing to die for, and he almost did. I said nine steps further because he was actually shot nine times in an attempt to silence him- a man that lived by the spoken word. His family actually refused surgical procedures that would threaten his ability to speak post-surgery. According to the show, he still has one bullet in his tongue from a gunshot to the face. During the recovery, with his jaw wired shut, he said the greatest pain, even more than being riddled with bullets, was the uncertainty that he might not be able to rap in the future.

After the incident, he came back harder, stronger, angrier, and even more determined to live what he considered his passion and his calling despite even more death threats and problems. I just finished reading his recent interview in Vibe magazine, and it is absolutely amazing what this determined young man has become because he was willing to literally die to achieve it. Business, producing, singing, acting, etc, etc.

Forget doing something for free. What passion and calling in your life are you willing to die for?

Gov. Nikki Haley Names Non-Mother of the Year

Please don’t get me wrong. I like Nikki Haley as my new Governor here in the Palmetto State of SC. Overall, I would personally give her about an 85% approval rating. She’s cutting money and trimming departments so far just like she promised. As long as she can keep her clothes on, unlike our former cross-continental traipsing Gov. Sanford, she should do all right.

The thing I’m wondering about today is an article in this monring’s Sun News titled “Haley Names Mother of Year.” I read the article with interest. After all, I have a mom and my wife is one as well. I was curious about what makes a statewide mom of the year. Here’s a link to the article if you’d like to read it too- Article. This lady seemed to have a pretty good list of accomplishments, although I’ve seen better. The only thing missing from her bio is this…CHILDREN. There is absolutely no mention whatsoever that she is actually a mom, which leads me to wonder, is she even a mother?

I did a little more checking online and found out that Ms Black is indeed a mother. Maybe next time the Gov. and the media should play that part up a little more.

Do you ever do this in your business? Do you play up everything except the one essential fact that the customer really needs? It’s the kind of thing that you need to be sure to catch.