51 Ways to Force Your Man Into Another Woman’s Bed

Ahhh…people either love or hate this article. It’s one that I publish annually in my column for South Carolina Woman magazine, mainly because it’s one of the most popular articles I’ve ever written. This year, at the request of a few of my readers, I’ll be publishing an alternate version, which will be geared to the man side of things. If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them over. For now though, here’s a reprint of “51 Ways…”

It has been my experience through counseling and my own personal relationships that no matter what has occurred to cause a problem, one person is seldom solely at fault in a relationship. Oftentimes one mistake or sin builds upon another and before the resolution of the difficulty or dissolution of a relationship comes, both sides are party to the present situation.

When questioned, seldom does a man or woman come right out and confess to a singular cause for a breakdown. More often, both will mention small things, often insignificant by themselves, as a cause for distress. Simple complaints such as, “he never picks up his clothes” or “she never dresses up for me” often show up. One might ask how such trivial slights can lead to major troubles. The problem is that those slights are merely the visible building blocks for larger problems. In other words, the little things represent the big things.

What follows is by no means an effort of mine to give you a helpful way to drive your man away. I would do no such thing. It is my intent that you will do the opposite of what I say and make every effort to keep your relationship together. By themselves, each item on this list will seem trivial and insignificant or even pointless and mundane, but in combination, they can spell disaster.

  1. Don’t paint your toenails.
  2. Always wear old clothes around the house.
  3. Don’t cuddle at night.
  4. Don’t take a shower before you climb into bed.
  5. Punish him by withholding sex.
  6. Don’t wear makeup except for special occasions.
  7. Don’t ask how he likes your hair before you get it cut, only after.
  8. Belittle him. Public or private, both are effective.
  9. Tell your family about his faults.
  10. Act jealous around any other woman, even if there’s no reason to.
  11. Remind him once a week that he’s not living up to his potential.
  12. Tell him how great other men take care of their wives.
  13. If there is any sex, restrict it to the same type, time, day, and variety every time.
  14. Let him know he is not pleasing you, but don’t tell him how to do so.
  15. Don’t watch your weight. He has to love you no matter what you look like, right?
  16. Cook unhealthy, but tasty food and then talk about his weight while he’s eating it.
  17. Refuse to enjoy his hobbies with him.
  18. Expect him to enjoy all your hobbies.
  19. Don’t show any interest in sports.
  20. Remind him that any time he spends with his friends is time away from you.
  21. Let him know that you need time with your friends.
  22. Refuse to spend time with his family.
  23. Expect him to attend every gathering your family has that you attend.
  24. Tell him you wish he were more like your dad.
  25. Don’t trust him alone.
  26. Tell him he works too much only after you ask for something big like jewelry or a nicer car.
  27. Don’t buy snacks for him at home.
  28. Don’t share your snacks with him.
  29. Always claim the last soft drink in the fridge, but let it sit in there a few days before buying more.
  30. Get his opinion on clothes only after you’ve purchased them.
  31. Don’t follow through with commitments.
  32. Don’t keep all your promises.
  33. Sleep in as late as you want to, any day of the week.
  34. Make him watch romance movies.
  35. Refuse to watch horror flicks.
  36. Expect romance from him, but don’t do anything to inspire it.
  37. Wear clothes that are comfortable, no matter if they are pretty or not.
  38. Accuse any girl skinnier than you of bulimia or anorexia.
  39. Accuse any girl prettier than you of being a slut.
  40. Accuse any girl smarter than you of having mental problems.
  41. Accuse any girl more organized than you or being uptight or obsessive-compulsive.
  42. Accuse any girl with a good job or income of sleeping her way to the top.
  43. Remind him that he needs to be more like any man that is more handsome, more muscular, smarter, or makes more money.
  44. Let him know that his income pays the bills, but yours is for spending money.
  45. Have a to do list ready for him when he gets home from work each day.
  46. Don’t read books. Television is just fine.
  47. If you must read, read only fiction and magazines.
  48. Make plans for his off days before they occur.
  49. Inform him each year where you plan on spending your vacation together, whether he goes or not.
  50. Take as many trips with the girls as possible.
  51. Challenge his every thought, word, or deed.
  52. Don’t discuss your finances with your man.
  53. Don’t offer to help with bills, but make sure to stack your bills on his dresser the day before payday.
  54. Watch your man pay a stack of bills until his paycheck is gone then ask him why he never takes you out for supper, even though you aren’t working.
  55. Never say thanks for little things he does for you.
  56. Never offer any affection when he walks in the door when he comes home at night(or anytime), but wait for his kiss and if you don’t get one ask him why he’s being so cold.
  57. Insult your man’s children whenever you can, make sure to tell him that his kids are worthless.
  58. Tell him if he goes to church to leave his cell phone ringer on so you can call him in case of an emergency, and call just to “check up” on him.

 There is a danger in relationships that many people do not realize. No matter how strong a man is, temptations abound. A strong man in a committed relationship will shrug off temptations with no more thought than is needed to get past them, but even a strong man in a stressed relationship can fall prey to a strong temptation. What if a woman comes along who offers him the one thing he needs, but you withhold, like respect or trust? Though sex and an affair are the inevitable result, many men have given in to temptation simply because a woman offered the right mix of respect, trust, and companionship and not because the offer of sex was there or was even desired. How many affairs spring from innocent lunches or conversations at work? I’m not saying it is right or excusable, because it is not. It is, however, preventable. What it takes to keep your man in your bed and out of someone else’s is a commitment by both parties to love, honor, and cherish each other. Do the words love, honor, and cherish sound familiar? They should. They were likely in the marriage vows which both of you recited.

3 thoughts on “51 Ways to Force Your Man Into Another Woman’s Bed

  1. Pingback: If a Man Says Something and No One is There to Hear Him, Is He Still Wrong? « The Daily Grind

  2. I suppose it is understandable of everything you said. I understand because I live it daily. I am a female in a relationship of 12yrs. Have given every effort to be as good to him as possible, have I questioned him at times, hell yes because it is normal as a human being. he has done the same to me. I dress and try to continueously look good for him, which he NEVER notices, even naked standing infront of him. he does not hestitate to look at females online and even check out one standing next to him. We haven’t had sex in 4yrs, and I have tried everything. He’s over wieght yet I never put him down for it, has treated me like **** on more than one occassion and I still do love him. I am sorry but what about treating others as you would want to be treated. It just feels they can think, feel, act, and treat woman as they want but we have give them more than emotional needs then they give us. how do you work with that?

    • Denise, thanks for the comment. I originally wrote this article in my column in a women’s magazine. A year or so later, I had a request to write one from the woman’s point of view. I had the women supply all of the info for that one, and it came out pretty good.
      The best advice I can offer by way of this blog is that to change things you have to make him want you. Whether it’s clothes, sexiness, fitness, great cooking, or whatever trips his button. Whether they realize it or not, guys need a pursuit, something to fight for. If he doesn’t feel like he needs to invest in the relationship or fight for your love, he’ll keep looking online. The caveat is that it requires you to be completely devoted to the relationship even when he treats you like crap. That’s the really hard part, and it works that way for both man and woman.

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