Paint Your Fingernails Like Justin Beiber

Thank you for joining me for this next edition of my sartorial opinions and commentary…

I complimented a female friend of mine recently on her painted nails. It was a bright green color that looked very good and complimented the outfit she was wearing. Her response though, kinda knocked me down. After my nice compliment, her reply was, “Yeah, it’s easier to just paint them than clean them.” Yikes! Ewww! So much for fashion. At that point I began wondering what lived under them.

I found this little item in a Whole Living magazine. A Technithong! What a neat name. Outdoorsy girls (who clean under their nails every now and then) are pretty cool, and there’s no reason your outdoorsy sporty underwear needs to be ugly. I am firmly convinced that a man should be in awe and amazement of his wife’s undergarments. Just the slightest glance should elicit those tender relational urges that husbands and wives should indulge often.


This is a piece of art I have hanging on my geek wall with much of my comic book art. Wouldn’t it be cool if women could wear this stuff out under normal circumstances and not look totally skanky? I know it’s possible. I have cosplay friends who do this at conventions, but are they really real life girls?


Ginger girls are really awesome, but sparkly ginger girls are even better.


Oooh, this lipstick looks awesome, but if I kiss my wife, I don’t really want my lips looking like this. It’d be one of those “she looks awesome unless I smear something” kind of nights.


Is it just me or do plus size models not look plus size at all?


*Disclaimer- Everything I Know About Fashion I Learned from the Military, Watching Porn, Stealing My Wife’s Old Fashion Mags, Reading Comic Books, and Ron Swanson.





4 thoughts on “Paint Your Fingernails Like Justin Beiber

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